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 Posted - 03/10/2003 : 13:17:18
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Roscommon fan after the controversial 1980 All-Ireland final: Hi ref,
how's your dog?
Ref: What do you mean? I don't have a dog.
Fan: That's strange. You're the first blind man I've ever met that
doesn't have a guide dog!
How would you know a Cork footballer? He's the one who thinks that oral sex is just talking about it. - John B.Keane
I used to think it was great being a wee nippy corner forward, but it's better now being a big, fat one. - Ollie Murphy
They shot the wrong Micheal Collins - Ollie Murphy to referee Micheal
Collins after Donegal beat Meath in last year's championship.
He'll regret this to his dying day, if he lives that long. - Dublin fan after Charlie Redmond missed a penalty in the 1994 All-Ireland final.
Hurry up and make a decision, ref. I have to go home to bale the hay!
The late Michael Young during a club game in Derry as the ref dithered
about whether to award a penalty.
Now listen lads, I'm not happy with our tackling. We're hurting them
but they keep getting up. - John B.Keane ventures into coaching
Paddy McCormack (digging a hole along the ground with his boot): You're young Kearins, from Sligo. I presume you expect to go back to Sligo this evening. Mickey Kearins: Hopefully. McCormack: Well, if you don't pass the mark, you have a fair chance of getting back.
Eugene McGee: Well, what happened
Offaly player late for training: Oh, the wheel fell off my mobile home.
Mick Holden (seriously late for training on a Saturday morning): I was coming across town and I was stopped by the guards. They said I was a match for one of the guys that pulled the big bank robbery yesterday. Kevin Heffernan: Really? Holden: No, but it sounds so much better than saying I slept it out.
Meath are like Dracula. They're never dead till there's a stake through their heart. - Martin Carney
Behind every Galway player there is another Galway player. - Meath fan at the 2001 All-Ireland final.
When Joe Brolly is winning, he's objectionable. When he's blowing
kisses, he's highly objectionable. - Cavan fan
He wouldn't see a foul in a henhouse. Frustrated Sligo fan's
judgement of the ref after the 2002 Connacht final.
There are two things in Ireland that would drive you to drink. GAA
referees would drive you to drink and the price of drink would drive you to drink. Another Sligo fan at the same match.
You get more contact in an old-time waltz at the old-folks' home than in a National League final. - Pat Spillane
The first half was even, the second half was even worse. - Pat Spillane reflects on an Ulster Championship clash.
Meath players like to get their retaliation in first. - Cork fan in 1988.
Meath make football a colourful game ? you get all black and blue. -Another Cork fan.
Ah yes, the career of the Gaelic footballer can end in a flash. Just ask any Roscommon player. - Keith Duggan on Roscommon's nude pool playing.
That's the first time I've seen anybody limping off with a sore finger! Armagh's Gene Morgan to 'injured' teammate Pat Campbell.
We're taking you off but we're not bothering to put on a sub. Just having you off will improve our situation. - Manager to a club player in Derry.
I warned the boys they couldn't go through the league unbeaten, and,unfortunately, they appear to have listened to me! - Tyrone's Art McRory after losing a league match.
In terms of the Richter scale, this defeat was a force 8 gale. -
Meath fan after the 2001 All-Ireland final. I'm going to tape the Angelus over this. - Meath fan after recording the same match.
My Dad told me you were the man that lost the All-Ireland for Tyrone! -Young fan to Iggy Jones.
(Reporter interviews Kevin Moran on TV after the 1978 All-Ireland final)
Reporter: How's the leg Kevin?
Kevin Moran: It's fuc..... it's very sore.
He's as useless as a back pocket in a vest. - Kerry fan on Colin Corkery.
Colin Corkery is deceptive. He's slower than he looks. - Kerry fan
I think Mickey Whelan believes tactics are a new kind of piles on your arse. - Disgruntled Dublin fan
Q: What's the difference between Paddy Cullen and a turnstile?
A: A turnstile only lets in one at a time. - Kerry fan after Cullen conceded five goals in the 1978 All-Ireland final.
Fermanagh has such a small playing base. Half the county is made up of water and half of the remaining half are Protestants. - Fermanagh fan bemoans the paucity of talent.
The rules of Meath football are basically simple: if it moves, kick it; if it doesn't move, kick it until it does. - Tyrone fan after a controversial All-Ireland semi-final.
John O'Mahony has given up football. He's just become Mayo manager. -Sarcastic Galway fan.
Q. What do Kerry footballers use for contraception?
A. Their personalities. - Cork fan.
A Kerry footballer with an inferiority complex is one who thinks he's just as good as everybody else. - John B. Keane
Life isn't all beer and football: some of us haven't touched a football in months. - A Kerry player during the league in the early 1980's.
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